I can’t believe I have been single for nearly 6 years now. Ever since I left the psychopath that destroyed me, I have gone through moments where it has got to me, that I am single, but I guess, I don’t want to be burnt twice.
It’s so hard, being in a situation where you’d love to have a relationship again, but being scared shitless of having the same thing happen all over again. Psychopaths reel you in, they are all nice and lovely to start with, so you just don’t know at the beginning.
I feel really lonely at times. It’s not so bad now that I live with my Mum, at least I have adult conversation, instead of trying to have in depth conversations with an 8 year old. But, I do miss having a partner, you know, all that nice stuff that comes with that.
I haven’t had a single romantic relationship since 6 years ago. I have done the online dating thing, and don’t get past the profiles, and then if I do get someone send me a message, I become suspicious quickly, and then just go my own way. All the weirdos don’t care if you are a single dad, but the nice ones (which is a matter of perspective I guess, considering what I am about to say), don’t want to go near you if you are a single dad.
I don’t get that. Why wouldn’t a woman want a man who is great with children, to the point that he has been doing it 24/7 for 6 years all on his own, can cook, clean, do the washing, and doesn’t worry about having to do it all on his own?
Maybe I don’t have enough tattoos. I don’t have any in fact. Maybe I aren’t ripped enough (ladies, if he is totally ripped, he only loves one person, and that ain’t anyone but himself). I’m a nice guy, maybe I need to be an arsehole? It seems that is what gets a nice woman every time. No, my mother brought me up well, and I guess having grown up with a father who was an arsehole made me not want to emulate him.
This always gets me around this time of the year. It must be the Christmas, but most likely the New Years thing, you know, where couples are meant to have a big pash at midnight. I don’t know. Maybe the love of my life is just around the next bend, who knows?