I really hate writing about negative crap, but the whole idea of this blog is to avoid paying some idiot hundreds of dollars to pretend to listen to me and and to pretend they give a shit. It does work writing about it, by the way, much better than anybody I’ve paid.
So here I find myself at 4am, after waking with a terrible nightmare at 3.15am, writing. I suffer from PTSD, although it raises it’s ugly head less and less these days, in fact, the last time I had anything much of consequence was a while ago now. I was surprised that through all the tumultuous life upending crap we went through last year with the sale of the last house, ( if you have only been following the blog for a short time, we have sold the previous house twice, the first time it all fell through 3 days before settlement, we were packed, ready to leave, and half an hour after we found out our furniture was due to be picked up by the removalists, and although the buyers had a binding contract, we are still fighting it out for compensation), I didn’t have any real PTSD stuff happen.
However, with the continued, and escalating arseholery of my father of recent weeks, I have had a beauty of a nightmare tonight. It’s like me, don’t do anything by half measure, do it properly. It started off with my father doing something very nasty, then lo-and-behold, guess who shows up? My ex. They joined forces. What a fucking lovely nightmare. 2 arseholes for the price of one. Double the nastiness.
Due to the renovations of the house, it’s become an open invitation for my father to walk in unannounced and uninvited any old time he wants. Not that we’ve invited him, HE’S seen it as an open invitation. He isn’t needed here for any of it, for the stuff we need tradesman for, they are on the case, they know more about what needs to be done than the know-it-all. And as for the other stuff, I do a far better job of it, and take a lot less time to do it, if he isn’t around. If he pokes his nose in, the job takes, conservatively, twice as long, and then there always ends up being the inevitable fuck up, because he insists on doing something a certain way that makes absolutely no sense, and has negative financial consequences. Because he is around, he is just giving us the opportunity to see just how big of an arsehole he really is.
Because we are no longer under the same roof, or even associating with him 24 hours a day, we are seeing just how bloody nasty he is. He can’t open his mouth without being a shithead. He’s what people call a troll on social media, and I see him do that too. I really don’t understand how someone can be such an arsehole. We do everything to make sure that we don’t argue with him, arguing with him is just pointless, it just gives him the opportunity to be even worse. I do think, however, another full tilt confrontation with him is on the cards, as it is all getting too much, and very obviously starting to have a negative impact on both my mothers, and my health again.
Anyhow, I doubt I will be going back to sleep again tonight, it’s rattled me, this nightmare, so much so that even now, 40 minutes after I started writing, it still is bothering me. May as well just swing into the day, at least if I need a sleep later, it’s not a school day today.