Light show

Tonight, after several very warm and incredibly humid days, the heavens have erupted in a dazzling light show. It’s been rumbling with thunder since 5pm, and its just past 10pm now. I made a few attempts to get a few shots, but the rain just kept chasing me around. I may have something, I am not sure, but nothing too spectacular.

Yesterday Mum and I went off to the nursery to get some Bird of Paradise plants, Strelitzia’s, and one is planted already, the other will be done when I level out the ground where it needs to go. We even had the first 3 beans off our bean plants, Jack, Mum and I all had one fresh out of the garden, and it is years since I have had fresh beans !!

I have tied up the bean plants, to get them off the ground, and added some wires to the tomato trellis also, the tomato plants are growing like mad right now, it’s incredible. Talking about incredible, the 2 grape vines and the passionfruit vine are all growing about 2 to 3 inches every day at the moment. I am blown away.

The rest of the garden is doing well, I managed to cut a bit of the lawn out the back today, but my fibromyalgia is not good right now, so there is still a little bit to do.

Tomorrow is shopping day, but tomorrow Mum also wants to get a new school shirt for Jack, the shirts are special ones you can only get from the school, so we will have to get that before we head off to the markets for our fruit and vegetables, and then to the supermarket for the rest. It is our off week for the butcher, so at least we don’t have to do that.

Jack is motoring along at school, making impressive progress. Tomorrow is Cross Country day, and then next week is school photo’s, and it is also the last week before Easter break. We have a few plans for the school holidays, we will go off for a day trip to Babinda Boulders for a swim, we are thinking of a day trip to the Botanic Gardens, and I can’t remember the other things Mum said, but we reckon we will do about 2 things special a week for the holidays.

I must go now, my medications are all kicking in, and the fatigue is coming over in a flood.




Another of the weird titles, just to try and lighten my mind.

I am in a bit of a shambles right now (I was about to write “write now”, so as you can see….yep, shambles). Too many upsetting things happening in my own country, I’ve already vented about it, but the lessons haven’t been learnt, the people who have created the problem are back to business as usual. It is just so frustrating that imbeciles are running things. These are just plain, stupid people.

Now, aside from that, life goes on, as it does. I have to do things to take my mind off the pathetic state of affairs, so I have got back into my garden today after a couple of weeks of not doing much in it, firstly, I was pretty ill for a week, then it has been raining incessantly for the past week, so gardening hasn’t exactly been a viable option. Firstly, I got out and tied up the tomatoes, and found that all three varieties I have planted are starting to flower. I also have several flowers on the corn I planted, and the beans are also packed with flowers and going great. There are heaps of viable small Pawpaw plants now going ahead in leaps and bounds, I will have to thin them and pot some up, as there are so many growing. I might get them strong and then sell them for a bit of pocket money. The Banana plant is now over 6ft tall, and going great, the passionfruit vine is nearly completely trained on the lower part of the trellis, so the next bit will be getting it started on the upper part, and the 2 grape plants are also going amazingly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they aren’t ready to go to the second wire in another months time also.

I also did a bit of a trim up around the place, the Tahitian Lime needed a little trim, it’s still quite small, so I need it to get taller before I let it grow out too many branches, I don’t want a tree that I can’t get to the trunk of when it’s a big tree. The Valencia Orange and the Imperial Mandarin are also going great, the orange in particular, the first one I put in of the citrus, is just growing like crazy. Because all of them are growing so rapidly, and now after a week of solid rain, I have fertilised them all again today as well, as I want them to have everything they need to get well established as quickly as possible.

We have some Murraya’s down the side of one of the verandahs, they were ill when we moved in here, and looked like they might not survive, but with lots of TLC they are now doing what they need to do, create a privacy hedge down the side of the verandah. I gave them a trim also today, most of them are now at Gutter height, and will be kept that height, so they don’t fill the gutters with leaves. Also, the almost dead Golden Duranta’s we had down the side are now also at the top the fence, considering they were almost dead too, when we moved in, and barely half a metre high, they are really doing well. We planted more of them down the same side where obviously some older ones had died, and those are now all getting to the height that the established ones were when we moved in. I think there is about 10 of them we planted, so when it all gets up to around 6ft, we will keep them at that height too. We have some shitty neighbours on that side, so a good screening hedge is exactly what we need there !!

Jack has started a literacy program at school last week, he spends an hour 4 afternoons a week getting extra tuition through the school, so it isn’t costing me anything, thankfully, but he is finally getting the extra help with his reading and writing that we have so desperately wanted for him. It is certainly showing too, because he is going ahead in leaps and bounds, it’s quite astonishing really. I am so glad he is finally getting tghe hang of it. We have poured a lot of work into it ourselves, but because the previous schools didn’t seem to understand that the way they were trying to teach him wasn’t working, it was difficult, because we were trying to teach him the way we had learnt, and they are stuck on this stupid sound out the letters crap, which doesn’t work. You know, if, for example, if you sound out the letters of a simple word like “the”, t-h-e, it doesn’t sound like “the” . We had been trying to teach him all the combined sounds, like th, oo, ou, ee, ea, ing, but the way the school did it was sounding out all the individual letters, which just doesn’t work. Here, in Queensland, they teach it the way we were trying to all along, and now the consistency is happening at school as well, he is going well. He even said to me last night that he now gets what we were trying to teach him, and it’s better, easier, and makes sense. He is a smart kid.

I have a little project that is in waiting, I have yearned for a proper studio in which to paint, and because I just haven’t had the place to do it, I haven’t done much painting for a while. Well, when dad finally has his shed built, and moves all his stuff out of the shed we already have here, I am going to line the roof with insulation and the side wall that gets full sun as well, and then frame up the walls and put proper lining inside it. I have power almost set up, it’s still difficult while all the stuff that will go into dad’s shed is still in there, but I have now organised most of the shed, got a proper bench set up, I used the old, heavy laminated bench tops we replaced in the kitchen, got the window fixed so it now opens, and all the stuff that will remain in the shed once dad’s stuff is out of there is all organised and is now where it will remain once the stuff of dad’s is gone. Put it this way, 3/4 of the shed is full of dad’s stuff, so it is going to be roomy once it’s all out. I will get a stool and a small fan, and I have a great 1970’s banker style desk lamp that I will set up in there also, and then I will move all my art supplies out of my room, and it will be all set up, finally. I am really excited about it. I already have the insulation, and most of the framing for the internal walls, and am looking for some decent pallets to use for lining it. I might even put a wooden floor over the concrete if I get enough pallets. It should look awesome when it’s done, and I plan on taking photo’s of it all as it progresses.

Apart from all that, I have had a shocking day with IBS today, to the point that I was on the toilet for nearly an hour after dinner tonight, it was awful and painful. It isn’t a good sign, because usually, that comes right before a bad flare up of the pain and fatigue, and to be honest, I have been struggling with the fatigue already pretty badly, so hopefully it doesn’t get much worse. Every single day for a few weeks now, I have had to sleep during the day for a few hours, even if I slept well all night and had over 9 hours sleep. It’s so bad that basically if I don’t sleep, I would fall down, because that is what my body wants, I just can’t stay awake.  Oh well, that’s just how life is for me now.

Anyhow, I hope you are all doing well, and I hope to write some more again soon.




I started writing this days ago. Even now, I am determined to finish it, but am really still lost for words. Friday last week, an appalling piece of human detritus decided to murder 50 people in the peaceful nation of New Zealand. This complete bag of shit came from my own country, Australia. I still feel physically ill even writing that.

In the days since, I have seen an amazing political leader, well, lead, and another try and hide his complicity in this madness. Jacinda Ardern is the leader EVERY nation needs. Australia’s Prime Minister is a hypocritical dirtbag.

Why, you ask, would I say that about the Prime Minister of my own country? Well, for more than a decade he has actively demonised people who weren’t white and rich. He blames them for every ill in society, just like that other impostor that calls himself POTUS. He calls them terrorists and rapists and murderers. He claims they steal everyone’s jobs.  He claims they steal our hospital beds, cause all the congestion in our overcrowded cities, absolutely anything wrong, is due to minorities and migrants. He’s been doing this all his political career, which is a lot longer than Trump’s.

So, this week he has been insincerely saying how horrible it all was, pretending that he cares. He is a narcissist and a liar, as they all seem to be. He has no compassion for anyone or anything. Oh, did I mention he is an extremist Christian? Oh Hillsong Church………

So, here he is, in denial, that his own rhetoric has created this monster who went on to murder all these men, women and children in one of the most peaceful nations in the world, one of our neighbours.  Every time he opens his mouth it is denial and hypocrisy. Not a thing is changing here in Australia, he talks the talk, but white supremacists are running rampant, and nobody is doing a thing to stop them. They even get protected by the Police from those extreme radical lefties who might force them to eat some tofu, the most dangerous thing a lefty can do.

I am now really ashamed to be Australian. I really hope, that come May, when we have our federal election, this phoney Prime Minister is voted out, along with the vast majority of his party’s other members in parliament. Total electoral annihilation would be good. We have had this political party (the misnamed Liberal Party of Australia, who are actually right wing extremist conservatives) in power the the best part of two and a half decades, with only a small break from them from 2008 to 2013. They have ripped the country to bits, pitting neighbour against neighbour, man against woman, poor against rich, white against black, Christian against everyone else for all this time. They have acted corruptly and looted the public purse and all it’s assets. They have destroyed the country I love. This horrifying act in New Zealand is just a symptom of the disease that is right wing conservative Christian extremism which has infected Australia.

I am so, so sorry to all those who have been affected by this tragedy. Not all Australians are like this piece of shit who did this terrible thing. I hope, come our election, that we can show you that the majority of us aren’t like that, I hope my country can show ME that the majority isn’t like that.

Love and peace to all,


Observations of Day One

I know, some of you have followed me for other reasons, but right now the fibromyalgia thing has taken over a bit. I promise, it will pass, but right now, it is overwhelming my life.

I have gone my first full day without any painkillers, and it is really, really not nice. The pain is off the scale, and honestly, if I hadn’t given myself a few days to mentally prepare, I’d be a mess, more than I am anyhow, right now. Fatigue is just incredible.

We did go out today, as I posted last night, I was determined, whatever I felt like, and I didn’t feel great this morning. We went up to Mossman, the drive up there is a little demanding, very windy bit of road, but stunning at the same time. By about the usual time for me, between 11am and 11.30am, I started getting the waves of fatigue like usual, but pushed on, but after we had lunch, I knew that getting home was a good idea. However, we did stop at a lovely beach on the way back, Mum went for a walk on her own up the beach for half and hour, Jack played in the sand, and I sat in the shade of a tree on the sand watching them both, using all my willpower to try and get my shit together.

So, I will say, I WAS NOT ADDICTED TO TRAMADOL. I have not had any of the side effects I should have by now, except for an increase in pain, which, is what I would have expected from fibromyalgia, so not a side effect of the Tramadol at all. The fatigue increase is also a good indication I wasn’t, because if I was, it should be the reverse. No nausea, or any of the other symptoms I should be experiencing if I was addicted and having withdrawal symptoms. It also shows me another thing, the amytriptaline I was given months ago, and that I had all the trouble with in October, really didn’t work on the fibromyalgia, because all the increase in fibromyalgia symptoms when I stopped Tramadol and was on amytriptaline then are exactly what I am experiencing now.

Anyhow, I am going to go to bed, and get some sleep, but I just thought it was worth an update.


Pig Headed

I’ve decided to be pig headed. I am going to suffer for it. I am currently without any pain medications, and I am going to let it all happen. I am determined to try, and prove a few things to people who need it proving to.

I know it’s going to be unpleasant, it already is, my last Tramadol was this morning, and normally, by now, I’d have taken my bedtime one, but I don’t have any.

Yesterday, I slept most of the day, and then slept well last night, in preparation, trying to get myself into a mental space to be able to deal with the pain I know is coming. My fibromyalgia is pretty bad now, and this little fool hardy enterprise will show others just how bad it is. I have a name for a doctor who apparently knows a thing or 2 about this terrible affliction, but can’t see her for a week, and I am honestly sick of dealing with doctors who are too caught up in the hysteria surrounding Opiod painkillers to prescribe them. Some people don’t respond to other treatments, I am one of them. Because of the paranoia surrounding these strong painkillers, I guess I am meant to suffer.

I am going to attempt to do what we have planned for the weekend still, regardless of how I am feeling. My son needs his father, and we need to have some sort of life together. It seems doctors don’t seem to get that, I thought they were meant take an oath to do what’s best for their patients, but obviously, that is a complete load of crap.

I hope I can get some sleep tonight, I will need every bit of it to deal with what I know is coming, I’ve been here before.


So many things…..

There are so many things I am feeling compelled to write about right now, the problem is, where do I start?

Tonight, on Australia’s ABC, 2 programs talked about the recent conviction of an Australian Cardinal of the Catholic Church for molesting children. The first was 4 Corners, who had had this program ready to go, but couldn’t air it due to a court suppression order, until tonight. To put it bluntly, the program was a damning indictment of the Cardinal, who by all accounts, is an evil monster. The program talked about the actual case he was found guilty of, but also other cases in waiting. Not only did he, as then Archbishop, molest the 2 Choir Boys in St Patrick’s Cathedral in Melbourne in the 1990’s, for which he has been convicted, but he also molested boys in the Ballarat Swimming pool way back in the 70’s, and there is evidence of other cases against him as well. This is the man that was in charge of overseeing the redress of clergy sexual abuse victims. No wonder that system didn’t work, that whole exercise was just to protect himself. This man was 3rd in line to be Pope.

I have known several victims of monsters like this one. It destroys them.

Both myself and my mother watched this program, during which, I said, that if anyone ever did this to my son, I would kill them. I mean it. I am not a violent person, I abhor violence, but this……this, it would tip me over the edge. Monsters like that don’t deserve sympathy. They deserve great suffering. I only hope that a Prison Guard “accidentally” leaves his cell open so that prison justice prevails. In Australian prisons, anyone who harms children is dealt prison justice. Most don’t walk out of jail ever again.

This brings me to another topic, funnily related but not. This evil monster was convicted in December, but due to other cases against him, it wasn’t able to be reported on in Australia. During the sentencing hearing, his legal team presented character references, glowing ones, from people who were already aware of his conviction, but were still willing to espouse his good character, and put their names to it. The most prominent being former Conservative Australian Prime Ministers, John Howard and Tony Abbott. Also were Ultra right wing political commentators employed by the former Australian, now American media tycoon, who see’s it as his duty to manipulate elections in countries all over the world. These people are standing side by side with a convicted paedophile.

It seems like a very damaging tactic, for a political party heading to a Federal election, to be defiantly standing by a convicted paedophile. Not only were 2 of it’s former leaders willing to support, full knowing he was convicted, a convicted paedophile, but numerous other politicians from the same party decided they too would stand by the convicted paedophile. You know, they all say” the person we know is not like this”. Most people who commit callous and abhorrent crimes have the same said about them, but it doesn’t make them any less guilty.

Currently, we have an Australian Federal Government, run by the Liberal Party of Australia, and, at this point I must tell those from other countries, they are commonly called the Lieberal Party, for good reason, because they aren’t liberal, they are conservative, and ultra right wing, bordering on fascists at that. So Mr Howard, and Mr Abbott, who was going to be a priest himself, are former leaders of this party. Their party is falling apart, they constantly lie to the public, and they do it so blatantly now, even when the truth is shown to them, they still stick by their lies. They claim Australia has low unemployment, but even a person who only gets 1 hour a week work is considered fully employed by this government. Underemployment, meaning employment that doesn’t give people an income enough to survive on, is at record highs. If people aren’t able to survive on the income they make, then the country is in a dire situation. They also keep propping up financial figures, claiming that the economy is going well, when everything is closing around them.  They are masters of creative accounting. It’s usually called fraud.

The reality is, this government is trying to cover up that our country is in recession, and has been for quite some time, probably about 2 years now.

They also are climate change deniers, even as our country experiences catastrophic floods and bushfires, and such unprecedented drought and extreme weather systems that have caused havoc across the country in recent months, they espouse the invalid greatness of coal, of digging it up and burning it. They are doing nothing about global warming. They claim, on “seasonally adjusted figures”, that they have lowered Australia’s CO2 emissions, but those figures aren’t real. They claim that over the entire length of their term in office, 6 years nearly, that CO2 emissions in Australia have fallen, based on a very slight fall, about 0.9%, in the last 3 months, “seasonally adjusted”. For the rest of the 6 years, emissions have risen. The net emissions have gone up by something like 3% since they have been in office. Before that, under the previous Labor government, they had fallen.

This government is also immensely corrupt. Free travel from corporate mates results in government contracts for travel being issued to their mates company. Water being diverted away from a dying river, which is dying because the water is being diverted to political donors who own cotton farms. Contracts worth hundreds of millions of dollars being given in secret, to provide services to the internationally illegal detention centres our country shamefully locks refugees up in, to companies whose only address is a wooden shack on a remote island off the Australian Coast with no postal address. Then there are the criminals, awaiting deportation, criminals who have run drug cartels and been convicted, paying bribes to “someone” in the Border Security Ministers home town, and suddenly being allowed back into Australian society, with all deportation orders cancelled. There are many, many other publicly available examples of the corruption that is rampant in this Liberal Party Government that Australia is currently subject to.

I hope, for the sake of our country’s future, that there are enough voters smart enough to see through the lies, and vote this mob out, in May 2019. I then hope, that if the Opposition Party gets elected, they stand by their promise, to set up an independent crime and corruption commission, and that these criminals, who currently “run” our country, end up in prison, because that is where they belong, along with their paedophile mate.


Made it to the end of the week.

Sometimes, well, most of the time recently, it’s been something to celebrate, getting through another week. The incredible pain and fatigue have just been constant for what seems an eternity, and I wake up most mornings not knowing how I will get through. I always do, but each day for weeks has been an absolute struggle. I actually amaze myself, knowing that every morning I feel destroyed even before I get out of bed, I go through the day, do everything that is necessary, sometimes a little more, and come out the other end, to do it all the next day. The mind is a powerful thing, you can use it to get through even when things are real bad.

Yesterday Dad decided, after Jack went to school, to have another tantrum, because, that is what it is, a three year old’s tantrum, which has since unsettled both myself and Mum again. He just gets pure enjoyment out of making every body else miserable. It’s got me to the point that any unexpected noise is making me jump out of my skin. It was unexpectedly bad this evening, when our rather loud and uncouth neighbours decided that dropping the ramp on their trailer onto the concrete made a huge, startling noise, and my heart was racing for an hour after. It’s the anxiety part that made that happen, I know what it is, but it still sneaks up. It always sneaks up when the stress caused by an abusive prick ramps up. Anyhow, enough said, he’s an arsehole, and it will never change. Probably why most of the extended family doesn’t like him either. He only has himself to blame by the way he treats people.

This weekend we are going to take it easy again, as Jack’s skin condition is still not right, so we are going to try and get on top of that, and both Mum and I are still exhausted from doing too much and fibromyalgia. At least I am not suffering all on my on at home. We will pop down to our local market, 5 minutes down the road, in the morning, but if anything else beyond that happens, then it will honestly be a miracle.

Talking about miracles, I actually won $21 on the lotto last night, which has been re-invested in next weeks big draw, as well as paying for lunch today, a lovely spicy chicken wrap with a beautiful coffee at a place called Reveille Coffee at Mt Sheridan. It is an absolutely amazing place to get a coffee and something to eat, the food is the best I have had at that sort of place for a very long time.

Anyhow, better sleep, as long as the pain lets me.