Wow, that was heavy !!

As you can tell from the last post, this blog isn’t just about me droning on about my ill health and struggling through every day. I have been writing blogs for a few years now, initially it was mainly to use as therapy, and it still is, I started my first blog, which is now de-activated, back in late 2013, about 5 months after I became a single parent. I still have all the content from that blog, and perhaps I will revisit it in the future. I may even share the odd tidbit here and there.

Today, I have been a little shitty. I didn’t start the day that way, in fact I had almost 9 and a half hours of continuous sleep, which is something that hasn’t happened for a long time, and rarely happens. I got up, the day was bleak outside, which probably didn’t set the right tone, but I got going, did all the usual stuff to get Jack ready for school, got off to school after putting my first load of washing on, and then got home, everything still pretty fine and dandy. However, come 9.30am, I realised that  I hadn’t taken any of my morning medications, oh well, not too late, took them, and then that was that.

At 10am, a call came through that the contract for the sale of the house was ready to be signed on Friday. Then, I had to go to town, I perused the secondhand shops and got some groceries, had lunch at the place my mum works, found out the building inspector was doing his inspection for the buyer this afternoon. After a totally piggish lunch, which consisted of Pepsi, fries and a burger that was delicious but way unhealthy, followed up with a mint choc thickshake (I was emotional eating, shit happens), I went to the appointment that had been the total reason I was in town. By this stage, I was feeling very tired.

So, after the appointment, I headed back home, passing Dad halfway home, he was heading into town. He flashed his lights for me to stop, so I pulled up and turned around and we spoke, it was about the building inspector coming, then I headed home, where I felt like collapsing on bed, but I had to pick up Jack still, and then I couldn’t sleep even after that, because some stranger was going to be wandering the house checking it all out and making sure it was okay. So, after picking up jack, we came home, Mum and Dad were back, Dad was being his usual piggish self, and I had enough. I was tired, I am still recovering from the ordeal of the five days of hell, and I just couldn’t deal with someone being nasty just for the sake of it. I had a few verbal swipes at him, something that I am not proud of, but have done so well not to under extreme pressure for weeks, and then just about everything was getting to me after that.

The inspector came, Dad did everything we had agreed NOT to do, but fortunately it didn’t affect the outcome, the bloke said everything is fine (as you would expect from a house that isn’t quite 8 years old), and would report to the buyer that he couldn’t see any problems. When I mentioned the things we weren’t going to do, one of them was that Dad wasn’t going to bore the poor bugger with his life story, I hate it when he does it, you can see the poor person squirming to try and get away, but there is nothing you can do until Dad is ready to stop. He is hopeless at reading body language. Well, the poor bloke got the life story, and Dad was oblivious to the fact that it was past dinner time and he’d agreed to make dinner. I gave up waiting and started cooking the vegetables, although my hands are so bad right now that peeling potatoes is like shoving my hands into a meat grinder. You can’t have dinner at 7pm when your school aged child needs to be in bed at 7pm.

You can guess, that now having had to start dinner off as well as being tired, sore and shitty already, I was just over everything. Up until I had my shower about 20 minutes ago, I was what Jack would call Grumpy Daddy, sort of like Grumpy Cat, just not so cute.

Anyhow, I better get myself off to bed, I was meant to be in bed an hour ago, but that’s life. I am still alive, somehow mostly keeping it together, and doing it a little easier than I was last week. It’s great being able function enough to actually do the simple things like eat, go to the toilet and the basics of looking after my son again.

Andy.

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