I should be asleep

I am thoroughly exhausted, having been running on empty for weeks now. The move, the crap beforehand, and now all the stuff we have had to do since being here has been full on. It’s go, go, go all the time. I don’t know how I am managing it. I really aren’t managing it, it’s more like going from one urgent matter to another. You just have to go with the flow.

So, right now, it is under 7 hours away from when the next tradies arrive to do some work on the house. I really should be fast asleep, re-energising for the new day, but I have found myself sorting out my DVD collection into some sort of order, my mind is buzzing, and even though I feel like collapsing, I can’t switch off. I really have been burning the candle at both ends.

I know a massive crash is going to happen, it’s not if, but when. I hope it’s within the school holiday period, because then I can still handle all my obligations fairly easily.

We have done massive amounts of work every day. I have, for example, drilled multiple holes into concrete today to lift curtains in 3 rooms, unpacked and set up half the Christmas stuff, assembled a new bed, cut Jack’s hair, attended his enrollment interview at the school, done shopping, come back and unpacked artwork, and then done all the sorting of the DVD’s. Tomorrow, it’s out after the tradies leave to look for plants for the garden, and look for more furniture, and if we get plants, the afternoon will be planting.

Anyhow, I am going to attempt to sleep now, hopefully it happens.



We have finally moved !!!!

It is a warm, balmy night as I write this from the tropical north of Queensland !! We have now been living in Gordonvale, just south of Cairns, for just over a week. I am loving it here !!!

Finally, we don’t have to worry about running into Jack’s deranged mother when we go down the street, which is still sinking in for me, as are the realities that we are now living in such a magnificent part of Australia. Jack was conceived only 40 minutes down the road from where we now live, we passed through there last Tuesday, just before we set eyes on our new home, which, is just fantastic.

Dad has his own little granny flat, which since about 2pm today, is all renovated to the point of satisfaction, I helped him fit his new shower curtain rail and put up the last of his curtain rods. The electricians were in there yesterday, as the oven and stove weren’t wired, and a light needed to be shifted, the bill hasn’t come yet for that, so that should be fun to see !!!

We’ve replaced door locks, hung curtains, fitted doors to the linen closet, acquired furniture, some of which was flat pack stuff, which took hours to assemble due to the quantity we bought, unpacked a tonne of boxes, flattened the boxes and taken them to the recycling centre, done about half a dozen trips to Bunnings for supplies to renovate, and it’s just been go, go, go. At 6am tomorrow, the solar panel installers are coming to start that off, we will have the last of our things from the last house delivered on Friday, as they were delayed by the fires and heat wave Queensland has been experiencing, on Tuesday next week we have air-conditioning being fitted to 3 bedrooms along with Window Tint on all the front windows, and then on Wednesday, the built in wardrobes will arrive and be installed in both Jack and my rooms.

It feels like we are getting back to some semblance of normality, although there is a heap more to do, both Mum and myself have done the bulk of what has been needed to be done, and hopefully by the end of next week, we will have most of the urgent tasks done. We are taking a day off on Saturday to go up the Atherton Tablelands to go to some markets, and to just have a break from it all.

The fibromyalgia has been a bit crazy, it’s been kicking in with pain for weeks, and the last few days both Mum and myself have been battling a huge amount of fatigue. We are pushing ourselves beyond our limits to get things sorted out, so we can just fall in a heap as soon as possible once it is all done.

I finally got out and mowed the grass today, this place has been neglected both inside and out for a long time, luckily it’s dry right now, so everything is not growing, but it still needed a tidy. We have 2 compost bins, both have a lot of grass clippings in them after today’s effort, but they should start to rot down pretty quickly in this climate. There is also a lot of other junk that needs to be sorted out, like a pile of rotten timber, steel stakes and bricks that need sorting through to see what is of use and what needs to go to the dump. Down beside the shed are some dilapidated shade cloth screens that have usable stuff in them, but are no longer good for their original purpose, so when I get a chance, I will go out, pull them apart, and reuse what can be reused. There is also an old chicken run and coop, which need to be pulled down, the fence will be reused for another project, the coop itself has a concrete floor, and the roof needs repair, but we are thinking of using it as an undercover storage space once it is repaired.

So as you can see, there is a lot to do, but we are getting it done. Jack won’t be back to school this year, there is only just over 2 weeks of the school year left, so we will enroll him for next year, and he gets an extended Christmas break. He will be repeating grade 2 next year anyhow, as his literacy isn’t up to scratch, which is letting him down when it is required in other learning areas. He seems to be relishing the nice warm climate, and is really enjoying himself. Because we are so busy, he is not getting as much attention from us as we would like, but he understands, and when he sees things getting better in the house every day, he knows that it won’t be long before we will be able to give him as much attention as he desires.

It’s very pleasant with the new living arrangements, Jack, Mum and myself having our own lives in the big house, and Dad doing his own thing in his own space. The house is so much more settled without the constant bickering and rude behaviour from him. It’s like we are all free.

Anyhow, I am rambling away, there is so much to tell, but for now, I must retire to my bed, I am barely awake, and it is now nearly 10pm, with 6am not too far away. Goodight all.


One day at a time

It’s been a crazy ride the past couple of weeks. I have had a very bad flare up of Fibromyalgia, the pain has been unbearable at times, but somehow I have persisted without going to the doctor and begging for some heavier painkillers again. I am getting just enough sleep not to be going crazy, but sleep is not restful. I resist going to sleep during the day, but I have collapsed into bed during the day a few times in the last week.

Aside from that, our house is very definitely sold now, and we will be moving in the next week or 2. The actual date for settlement is not confirmed, but should be tomorrow. It was initially supposed to be the 12th of November, but then was extended to the 19th, as the bank was dithering about giving the buyers finance, but now it’s been approved, the sale is pretty much guaranteed, and the buyers are keen to get in here, as much as we are to get out. So tomorrow, they finalise the paperwork, and hopefully it is sooner rather than later that we settle and we get out of here.

We have now got removalists coming to take our belongings to the new place, as we unpacked the shipping container and sold it weeks ago, it will cost slightly more, but at least we won’t have to load and unload it all, it’s already packed, so we will just have to unpack at the other end after they bring all the stuff inside for us.

In the past few days, I have managed to change all the wheel studs on the trailer I will be towing with some of our stuff up to the new place. It is over 3000km, so I wanted to make sure I did all I could  before we left to reduce any possible issues. I also greased and tightened the wheel bearings, replaced the front bolts on the suspension, and greased up the slippers. The trailer is all in tip top condition now.

I also thoroughly cleaned the inside of the car, it took all day, I blew out every nook and cranny with the air compressor and vacuumed it to within an inch of it’s life, I even lay on my back and cleaned the hood lining. It is like new again inside. Even my seat belts run freely back into the spool now after I cleaned the gunk off the runners on the pillar of the car. In the next few days, I will get the oil changed and do a check over of everything under the bonnet.

Today was spent giving the verandahs and decks around the house one last oil. They are gleaming, and when the new folks move in, it will make it just that much nicer now they are done.

Tomorrow is another day, I will probably try and get some rest, but also plan on consolidating everything in the room, trying to get it all ready to pack into the car and the removalists truck. It’s pretty sparse, so shouldn’t be too much work.

Anyhow, there is lots going on, lots to do, and to be frank, my mind is a little overloaded, so I have a list, and am working through it as I can, as if I didn’t do that, I just would be able to cope.

I should be off to bed, it’s nearly dark now, and I really am tired.



Feeling generally more positive, the first time in a while.

A second post in as many days !! It’s a drizzly day, and warm, which is highly unusual in this neck of the woods at this time the year. I have done the morning school run, then taken the recycling to the recycling centre, done a bit of top up shopping, done a run through the Op Shops, got medicine from the chemist, and have now come back home to be home alone, not a usual situation to be in, but I’ll take it !!

I don’t have a tonne of stuff on the cards today, it’s still the half world of being ready to move, but not able to yet, but it is looking more and more certain as the days go by this time around. We will be permanently living in the Tropics by Christmas, I am sure of it.

Jack has been the most amazing kid the past few weeks, he has, without being asked, been straightening out the bed each morning, has been making a pretty good effort to keep things tidy, and even put his washing in the washing basket, instead of in the bed, on the floor, in the lounge room, etc……. We are sharing my bed, a double, seeing as we had sold our old double/single bunk bed before the last sale of the house fell through 2 days before we were supposed to be leaving. Anyhow, I will be looking forward to having it all to myself again when we arrive at the final destination, but for now, we have to do what we have to do. It’s amazing, I knew he moved around a lot in bed already, but he must be at a rave party in his dreams, because he has arms and legs flying everywhere !!!

I think, seeing that the house is so quiet right now, that I might try and have a nap, I am so worn out from all the stress and worry and uncertainty of the past  couple of months, and will need to start focusing on getting both mentally and physically prepared and rested for the big drive when it comes, which at this stage is likely about 4 weeks from today. We have to do over 3000km to get to the new place (3329km to be precise according to Google maps !!) which will be about 5 days driving, and seeing a 350km drive takes it out of me at the moment, then I really need to get ready for that one !!!

Things are looking a lot better

It’s amazing what a difference a few days can make. It’s been such a roller coaster this past few months, and I am sure it isn’t over yet, but we have been having a few wins this past few days. The future is looking brighter.

As I have talked about before, I am a photographer, I keep meaning to share more of my work on here, but motivation to do things other than what has been necessary to keep life ticking along has been pretty low of recent months. It’s strange, I have sat here tonight looking at some photos I downloaded off my camera to my desk top computer months ago, I hadn’t looked at them since I downloaded them, so I guess I am making some progress back to normality again.

Since I moved in to my folks place in January, most of my life has been packed into boxes, and even though I have set myself up to work, I just haven’t felt right enough to do it. I did my first wedding photography gig back in February, did that work, got the finished products to the bride and groom, but have not done any other photography work apart from taking a few shots, then leaving them sit on my camera’s or computer ever since, not even looking at them. It’s annoying, because I know when I finally do start delving into them it will be hundreds of hours of work to sort through, but hey, you need to be in the right frame of mind and comfortable to do it, and I just haven’t been settled enough to do that. Put it this way, a full wedding gig was over 12 hours just doing the photography, then about another 15 to 20, going through the 1200 shots I took. By the way, of those 1200 shots, which were of the arrivals, ceremony and reception, 1120 were all good enough to present to the bride and groom, and they were astounded I had captured so much.

One of the things I want to concentrate more on is time-lapse, I have a set up now to do so, and have put together a few and then edited them into small videos, with music, credits and captions, titles, the works. It’s far more time consuming than just doing the straight photography, but when you nail it, it is so satisfying. I have 2 favourites, one I did of my son from birth until 8 years old, then another of the landscapes around SW Victoria, obviously with a lot of moody weather involved, because landscape and weather are my most favourite subjects. Once we get moved, and settled in to our new place, which is now looking very likely, possibly even in the next 4 weeks although I don’t want to jinx it, I need to get head down and bum up and start sorting all this backlog out, and get into making some serious cash out of it. That is the ultimate goal.

Well, I should get my head into bed, I slept for 4 hours this afternoon, the fibromyalgia fatigue has been bad, so instead of resisting the urge to just sleep I went with it today, but, yes, I am still exhausted, so need to go off and sleep again.




I have been so dark and stormy, sort of like the weather outside tonight, for the past few months. It’s not normally me, but with everything that has been going on, I don’t think you could expect anything less from someone going through all that crap.

Over the past couple of weeks, we have put a circuit breaker in a lot of the crap, firstly, we got the go ahead to put the house back on the market, so we did (with no real estate agents this time), Facebook Marketplace actually, and within about 16 hours, we had 3 people come and look at the place, hectic, but we actually had an offer made by the end of the day. An offer that we accepted. Tuesday we should see the contract signed, deposit paid, and everything back on track. We have even made arrangements with the owner of the place we were going to buy to buy it again, and thankfully, that too is steaming ahead. Hopefully it isn’t a repeat of the Titanic this time.

After my little (read BIG) explosion at my father, things settled down, and so far, things are holding steady. He has been a reasonable human being for the most part now for 3 weeks, which is a record by a long stretch.

During the past fortnight, we, meaning Mum, Jack myself went for a 5 day sojourn to Melbourne, it ended up being a bit  busier than I think we had anticipated, the time flew, but we spent some great time with my Aunt and brother. My only real plan for the 5 days was a trip to the Point Cook RAAF Museum, and a possible Op Shopping day, which accomplished, but my brother also insisted on us all going Ten Pin Bowling, and seeing a movie (the new Johnny English one) on one day, and my Aunt insisted on us going to the Werribee Open Plains Zoo, which by the way, was absolutely brilliant, far, far better than I had expected.

I am currently very drained however. I am still taking Valium to sleep at night, I did do a couple of nights without, but have needed them again. I am excited by the prospect that this time the sale and move will go through, but am containing that excitement, deliberately trying to avoid another disappointment. I couldn’t take what happened happening again, I’d end up going into a complete breakdown. It’s hard to keep your shit together when you are prone to depression, that’s what the Valium is doing, helping me keep my shit together.

Tomorrow sees Jack back to school for another school term, so this afternoon has been a flurry of making sure bags are ready, shoes are polished, and I even managed to fit in cutting his hair, yes, a single parent has to be a jack of all trades. Apart from his first ever hair cut by a hairdresser (which to be honest, was woeful), I have been cutting his hair ever since, and seeing the mum’s of the kids at the school want to know who cuts Jack’s hair because they want their kids done by them, then I must do a good job (I always say to the mum’s that it was “somewhere in the next town, can’t remember what they are called”, I don’t want to be a hairdresser for everyone else’s kids!!).

Anyway, I am pretty tired, but just wanted touch base so you didn’t think I’d fallen off the face of the planet.